A New Beatitudes for the Age of Equality

With Pope Francis taking a progressive line, it is time to recognize the common premises of Christian doctrine and the egalitarian, identity politics of the progressive left. It is time for an updated Beatitudes for the age of equality.

Matthew 5:1-12 (King James)

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
For they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst
for righteousness,
For they shall be filled.

Blessed are the merciful,
For they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart,
For they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
For they shall be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake,
For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

The New Beatitudes

Blessed are the least advantaged,
For theirs is the kingdom of Rawls.

Blessed are those with pre-existing conditions,
For they shall not be refused.

Blessed are the meek,
For they have inherited the West.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst
for correctness,
For they shall govern speech.

Blessed are those who excuse evil,
For they shall be excused.

Blessed are the pure lovers of Earth,
For they shall see Gaia.

Blessed are the compromisers,
For they shall be called reasonable.

Blessed are those who feel persecuted for group identity,
For theirs is the right to complain.

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